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Saturday, 20 February 2016

Master of the universe...

Sitting in a cafe, having coffee, I have a lot on my mind. There are things that I can decide right now, and there are things that I want resolved right now. Strange isn't it! Things I can tackle are not the things that I want tackled right now. Probably it is human nature that our desires do not comply with our possibilities.

There are things, which depend on other people, and I am just a part of those affairs. But those are the ones I want resolved right now. Probably it is not the resolution of problems, which matters the most. Because in that case I would finalize the things that depend only on me. Probably it is a matter of wanting to control situations. Because, when you resolve things, where there are others involved, you feel like controlling the flow of things. When it is just you, this feeling of control is not there.
A very simple example is that, when you want to go out, and have a cup of coffee, you just decide, and go or not go. But when you have to ask someone else to accompany you, the control of other person's desire and ability to join you, comes into play. I mean making someone come out of their comfort zone to join you for a cup of coffee, gives a certain feeling of control over others.
Maybe it is not so, but for me it is like this. Probably the cup of coffee is not the best example, but whatever you make someone do, always carries a sense of being in control. Especially, when the other person does not want to do, what you ask for.
Asking a girl out carries the same satisfaction element. When she agrees, you start feeling in control. Because, when she says no, your feeling of annoyance is not due to her disapproval. It is because of feeling the loss of control over the situation. This sense of control starts from the moment you ask her out and goes all the way until you get in bed with her. Sex is all about control. Yes, it is satisfaction and some physical pleasure, but had it been only physical pleasure, people would masturbate instead of courting their mates.
Why do we insist on paying for other person's drink? Not because the other person cannot pay. But just because when we pay, we feel like controlling the situation. Same goes for everything else in life. For example, when you go for a business meeting, you spend a lot of energies on trying to achieve the targets that you have set. Agreeing to the other party's conditions, does not always mean losing something, but the loss of control matters. Getting out of a business meeting, you always feel satisfied, when the counter party agrees to your terms.
It is all about control my friends. Life is about control. What is independence? Is it the opportunity to get rid of all dependencies? No! One way or the other you always depend on something or someone. Independence is the state of affairs, where you control the flow of things. This is the state in which you pull the strings of people and circumstances. Pulling strings is control. So, when you pull the strings, you are independent. You are the master of the situation, and not the puppet.
Freedom is not the power to make decisions. It is the power to control. Freedom is not only the power to control people and events. First of all it is the power to control your desires and your actions. If you cannot control your urges, you are not free. You are a puppet, in the hands of your desires. It is a question of, who controls whom? Do you control your urges or are you a slave to your desires?
So the habit and mastery of control starts from your own self. First you learn to control your instincts and urges. Then you learn to control people and circumstances. As long as you lack the ability to control your instinctive behaviors, you cannot control anything. What would be your instinctive response to an offer of owning a million dollars, without doing anything? Most probably you will be urged to take the offer at its face value. This is where you lose control of happenings. This is how scam artists take charge of your actions. They offer you one million dollar prize and ask for a processing fee of just 500 dollars. Your lack of control over your urges, makes you part with your 500 dollars. But if you would have good control of your urges, you will not lose you hard earned 500 bucks.
It is the lack of control over your urges, which turns you into an alcoholic or drug addict. It is your desire to attain satisfaction, the easiest way, which makes you slave to the fire water or the syringe.
The greatest treasures in life are freedom and independence. And control is the path to these attributes. Control starts from within. Control your urges and instincts and soon you will be controlling people and circumstances.
I am the master of my fate,
    I am the captain of my soul.

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